Contributions to the tribute of Bernard Abbene

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Christina "Tina" Welsh posted a condolence

Prof. Ben Abbene Dear Ellen - I was so sorry to hear of Ben's passing -- he was a terrific professor and a wonderfully warm, intelligent man. I was lucky enough to have him as my CA 260 professor when I was a sophomore (the beginning film class) -- and we maintained a great rapport throughout my years at LMU. I was even his teaching assistant in '85 for his "Tuesday Night at the Movies" class! After I graduated LMU, we stayed in touch, exchanging letters and Christmas cards every year -- he was always very enthusiastic and supportive of my creative endeavors. Most recently, I saw him in the fall of 2002 -- when he attended a play in Hollywood that I co-starred in and co-wrote, called "Reunion." In fact, if memory serves, I believe you and Victor accompanied him . . . I sent him another note earlier this year and when it was returned unopened and undeliverable, I grew concerned. I called LMU to try to get some information, but that didn't get me anywhere. I wish I had known that Anthony knew you! I would have liked to have written Ben again, especially knowing now that he was still around but in failing health. But at least he knew how well I regarded him from the communication we maintained over the years. And I was glad to hear he passed peacefully and not in pain. I hope I will be able to attend the service. If not, is there a place for me to send a card to you and Victor, and perhaps a favorite charity Ben supported? Thank you, Christina "Tina" Welsh

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Diane de Poto Ferris posted a condolence

Uncle Ben celebrated a wonderful life with his entire family. His presence in life and death helped to united the east and west coasts families with a secure bond. If the east coast families knew he was traveling out to see us we all clamored for a chance to see him, share a meal or get his attention. No one ever wanted to miss an Uncle Ben moment! By the same token, if we traveled out west, an Uncle Ben visit was always penned into the itinerary. The love between all of us is just one of his legacies! Diane de Poto Ferris, God Daughter to Uncle Ben

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Prayer Card posted a condolence

Fill not your hearts with pain and sorrow, but remember me in every tomorrow. Remember the joy, the laughter, the smiles, I’ve only gone to rest a little while. Although my leaving causes pain and grief, my going has eased my hurt and given me relief. So dry your eyes and remember me, not as I am now, but as I used to be. Because I will remember you all and look on with a smile. Understand, in your hearts, I’ve only gone to rest a little while. As long as I have the love of each of you, I can live my life in the hearts of all of you.

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Marilyn de Poto posted a condolence

About my Uncle Ben… I remember when I was young, and didn’t know him well. I think my first impression of him had to be that painting Dad made of Uncle Ben in the Brigadoon outfit. I remember looking at it often and wondering about him. I guessed he was an important man. He had a feather in his cap, he had a beard. Who was he and what did he do? I knew he was special. I don’t remember the first time I met him. The California Abbenes were somewhat mythical. I had seen pictures in Mom’s albums from her visits out there. Who were all these people? So many names, so many of them. They were my cousins, but I didn’t know them. I just knew I WANTED to know them. Finally, one summer, the big news came – we would be taking a FAMILY trip to California. I was so excited to go there, to see Hollywood and to meet my famous cousins. My memory is foggy. It is not filled with specific details, but of impressions of some of those first visits – the Sunday Family dinners of spaghetti and meatballs, the pool with the stones all around in Canoga park, laughing, singing, dancing with everyone, making videos, and watching lip synch tapes. I met my cousins and instantly loved them for who they were – not just because they were my cousins, but because they were fantastic people, and I KNEW the reason why. They were the offspring of some truly original people: Aunt Laura, with her warmth, kindness and terrific sense of humor and Uncle Ben, who was still remained somewhat legendary to me. He had all these incredible stories – whether they are true or not, I don’t know. He knew how to tell a good yarn. I have these memories of Uncle Ben’s sitting at the end of the long table with his newspapers and cigarettes, telling me about his students or things he had written or famous people he had encountered. I believe he was a writer at heart, and I am a writer in my heart. He always seemed so passionate about his life, and I think he was the first person – first ADULT I had ever met who was like that. He didn’t talk down to me or condescend. I felt as if he was trying to teach me, to show me about a life filled with creative energy. He made be believe that you could make a life out of your imagination. It was possible to turn something you loved into a career. He gave me career advice that I’ve always kept with me. He was often curious about how I was doing and what I was doing in the “real world”. When I felt discouraged or frustrated that I wasn’t working in the media industry or that I was wasting time doing the wrong thing, he helped me hang in there. He told me, “don’t put your eggs all in one basket.” letting me know that it was okay to try different things and to spread myself out. Everything I learned from doing different jobs and trying different things would help me in the long run. Of course, he was right. It is a piece of wisdom I carry with me always and dispense with pride to others I see struggling. There are simple memories and things that make me think of him, like his playing bocce ball with the family. In Oyster Bay, there is an Italian American Club. All summer, I’ve been taking walks 3-4 times a week in the evening, and I pass by the building. There are always a group of men outside playing bocce ball. I know he has been sick, and every time I would pass by there, I would imagine he was playing right along with them. I know he would have loved it. It made me smile to think of him that way. I remember once he visited Mom and Dad and stayed overnight. It felt incredibly special that he was there. I made a point to wake up early and spend some time with him. He had an early flight. I was awakened sooner than I had anticipated because I heard this beautiful piano playing. It was him playing on the Baby Grand that had belonged to his father. It was gorgeous music and the playing seemed to come so easy to him. Many things in life did, but I think it was because of his spirit and attitude, but he was also full of talent. In 2003, I came out to L.A. to attend a convention. It was February and I was staying with a friend at the Renaissance Hotel on Hollywood and Vine. It was a long and crazy-fun weekend, and I was to fly back to NY on Monday, but there was a massive snowstorm on the East Coast and my flight was cancelled. I called Uncle Ben and he rescued me and my friend Laura. He took us to his place. On the way, he told us a story about how he once picked up a hitchhiker who turned out to be a young Marilyn Monroe. Was it true? He seemed to have a lot of details about it. Nevertheless, it was entertaining. We stayed with him for a couple of days. He brought us out to tacos; he made sure I got to visit with my cousins, and he made us breakfast and dinner. Breakfast was usually Honey Bunches of Oats, milk and a banana with coffee, but that was all that it needed to be. Uncle Ben had a way of inspiring me. I ate that breakfast of Honey Bunches of Oats with milk and banana for a long time afterward. In fact, I have box in my pantry right now. Ultimately, it’s difficult to put in words all I want to say about Uncle Ben, and what he has meant to me. There are a million stories and impression, a million little moments that make me remember and smile. There was no one like him. I know how much he was loved by his family and how much he loved them. I feel grateful in knowing that he is at peace, with his Laura and looking down on all of us.

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david mickey evans posted a condolence

Mike, I am deeply saddened to hear of your father’s passing. He was the profoundest influence I had in my entire education. Not so much because of what he taught me (although, of course, that was invaluable) but because he helped me believe, at a critical and difficult time of my life, that I could do what I dreamed about doing. What I wanted to do. He has never left my thoughts since I left Loyola and he never will. Thank you very much for contacting me, and my prayers go out to you and your family. Sincerely, DME, david mickey evans david evans pictures 466 footihill blvd. #207 la canada, ca 91011 dmevans@sbcglobal.net http://www.davidmickeyevans.com

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Mary Abbene posted a condolence

I find it very upsetting that I won't see or talk to Ben again. I have never known anyone quite like him. He managed to affect me in my adulthood the same way he affected me in my childhood…with wild-eyed excitement. I think I got more excited about Ben's arrival (at any age) than I ever did (at any age) about Santa Claus. When I saw him a year or two ago at Bob and Jonell's 50th wedding Anniversary, he was pulling the same mind-play hijinx on my kids that he did with me when I was a child. They fell in love, and in awe, with him too.

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John Abbene posted a condolence

Dr. Bernard Abbene (Ben), the former Chairman of the Communication Arts Department at Loyola University of Los Angeles - now, Loyola Marymount University, died peacefully in his sleep on Saturday, the 21st of October, 2006. He was 84. As chairman, he was instrumental in the fund raising for, and participated in the design of the Communication Arts Building at Loyola. His insistence in staffing the faculty with accomplished industry professionals combined with his personal professional contacts, resulted in bringing such luminaries as Oscar winner Edward Anhalt, Oscar nominee Joe Stone, Emmy winner Lamar Caselli, and LA Times film critic Charles Champlin to Loyola as members of his faculty. Ben's "Tuesday Night at the Movies" class, often standing-room-only, showcased soon to be released major motion pictures as well as hosting prominent Hollywood producers, writers, and directors, such as Michael Wayne (John Wayne's son), Clint Eastwood, Sterling Silliphant, Rod Serling, and William Friedkin. His tenure as Chairman established Loyola as one of the best film and television universities in the country. In addition to chairing the department for 9 years, Ben was a professor at Loyola for 22 years, retiring in 1987. Ben was a member of the Writers Guild of America, Screen Actors Guild, American Federation of Radio and Television Artists, Actors Equity Association, and Academy of Television Arts and Sciences. He was the head of the Creative Division at Henry Jaffe Enterprises, Producer/Writer for David Wolper Productions, on the staff at ABC, NBC, and Warner Brothers, as well as the Director of Arena Playhouse, Broadway, NY. His honors include being the first Cosgrove Chair of Communication Arts at Loyola Marymount University, as well as being awarded the Outstanding Educator of America Award in 1973. Ben was born in Brooklyn, NY on February 8, 1922. He served in the US Army Air Corps during WW II as a tail gunner. He received his B. S. and M. F. A. degrees at Fordham University where he met his wife, Laura. In New York, he taught at Hofstra, and Fordham Uniiversities. He completed his PhD studies at NYU. In 1962, he moved his family to Southern California. In his retirement, in addition to continuing his writing, he built a second home along with his sons and sons-in-law in Lone Pine, CA., and served as a mentor to his children, grandchildren and extended family. He was respected, revered, and loved by all. He was preceded in death by his wife, Laura, and his brothers, Theodore and Michael. He is survived by his eight children and their spouses: Lisa(Roger), Bonnie(Gary), Patrick, Laura Beth(Frank), Victor(Ellen), Ginger(Paul), Alex(Teri), Michael(Annette), his 28 grandchildren, 1 great-grandchild, 2 sisters and brothers-in-law: Lillian(Robert), and Jonell(Robert), and many, many, nieces, nephews, and cousins. The immediate family wrote: "Our father, grandpa, and uncle will be greatly missed. We are at peace knowing that he is with God and his family." The funeral liturgy will be held at the Sacred Heart Chapel at Loyola Marymount University on the 7th of November at 10:30 a.m. Respectfully submitted, John Abbene (tel. 310/457-3290)

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Lisa Abbene Henley posted a condolence

Dr. Bernard Victor Joseph Abbene (Ben Abbene) died peacefully on October 21, 2006. He was preceded in death by his wife of 50 years Laura, father Dr. Marius Abbene, mother Nellie, brothers Teddy and Dr. Michael Abbene and granddaughter Angela Abbene. Ben was born in Brooklyn, New York on February 8, 1922. He was a graduate of Fordham University where he met his wife Laura. He served in the Army Air Corp as a tail-gunner during World War II. In New York he taught English at Hofstra and Fordham Universities. He moved his family to California in 1962 where he worked as a writer for the Dinah Shore Show, Henry Jaffee, and David Wolper Productions. He was a member of AFTRA, Screen Actors’ Guild and the Writers’ Guild. He was a professor at Loyola Marymount University in Westchester, California for over 20 years. During his tenure as the Chairman of that Department, Loyola was established as one of the premiere film and television schools in the country. He was awarded the first Cosgrove Chair of Communication Arts as well as Outstanding Educator of America in 1973. He retired in 1987. In his retirement he continued his passion for writing, built a second home with his own hands along with his sons and son-in-laws in Lone Pine, California and served as a mentor to his children, grandchildren and extended family. He is survived by his eight children and their spouses, Lisa (Roger), Bonnie (Gary), Patrick, Laura Beth (Frank), Victor (Ellen), Ginger (Paul), Alex (Teri), Michael (Annette). His 28 grandchildren, 1 great grandchild, 2 sisters and brother-in-laws Lillian (Bob), Jonell (Bob) and many, many nieces, nephews and cousins. Family wrote: Our father, grandpa and uncle will be greatly missed. He was a remarkable man. We are at peace knowing he is with God and his family. Funeral services will be held at the Sacred Heart Chapel at Loyola Marymount on November 7th at 10:30 a.m. Contributions in memory of Dr. Bernard Abbene may be made to the Dr. Bernard Abbene Memorial Fund c/o Donor Relations, 1 LMU Drive - Suite 2800, L.A., Ca 90045-2659

Bernard Abbene

2007 - 2006

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